Whee! Faith is back! Sorry about that super-long intermission, but...um...something happened. Anyway, please read and review, but take into consideration that I wrote this four years ago.
I readjusted the Shield, moaning softly as it cut into my shoulderblades. Why didn’t I just ditch the piece of scrap metal? I didn’t know, but I felt like it was important, just like the hair-band I now wore. And like the hair-band, I had found it near the Falls. It was almost as if someone put it in my path so I would find it.
The Shield was diamond-shaped and emblazoned with two paws, one black and one white. It hurt and it was heavy, but abandoning it would be like chopping off my ears.
A cold gray sun throbbed feebly in the bleached sky. Dry, frosted grass crunched under my paws. I could not have imagined a more awful landscape; it was a flat, overgrown disk of death. Mountains poked like broken teeth from the horizon. Every now and then, as I plodded along with the Shield strapped to my back, I would pass a scarecrow or two. They stood on their poles, singing mournful songs. I didn’t pause to talk.
What was I doing here? I screamed at myself. I didn’t know where I was going. Every second I wanted to turn around and return to the castle, but I just wasn’t brave enough. I was running away from my problems.
“Step by step, across the land,” I murmured to myself. “To flee, to fight, to take a stand.”
I was beginning to feel that the maid’s song referred to me.
A shrill cry split the ear. I tossed my head back to see a silver griffin circling in the empty sky. My stomach tied itself in a sailor’s knot. To a hungry griffin, I was a choice cut of meat.
She banked sharply, pulled in her wings, and executed a perfect landing. Her warm lion-breath steamed in the crackling air. A fluffy hatchling clung to her back. As I watched, frozen, he slid off and romped in the grass, sending puffs of dry snow into the air. The mother griffin’s eyes were wide and sunken. “Please, food,” she begged. “Anything.”
Despite their wicked beaks and talons, griffins are normally quite docile. Some of the wilder ones can be dangerous, but those mainly stay to themselves.
I offered her a loaf of bread and a slab of rainbow fish, which she took eagerly. Her son wolfed it down and stared happily at me. The feathers on his forehead were lopsided, and shaded the ruby planted on his skin. It gave him a sort of mischievous look and made me laugh. I patted him on the head. He nuzzled me with his beak. “I’m Silven,” he said shyly. “We’re from the Green Mountains.”
His mother nodded. “ Yes, that is true. We have come to see the slave griffins who work in the coal mines. My son and I want to free them, but they are under the claws of Orren Nox.”
I had heard much about this griffin, because not even castle walls could keep out the stories. He brutally herded other griffins into his volcanic forge. Legend had it that there was a power source at the center of the earth that he wanted. Some said that years in the Devil’s Breast’s magma chamber had twisted his brain.
“You’re very brave to try such a thing,” I said.
Silven whimpered. “My daddy’s in there.”
My heart clicked. Silven was so young, so innocent. I had grown up without parents, and I knew the pain. At least he still had his mother, but what was he without a father? I was going to help those two poor griffins. Not only them, but everyone else. Griffins were supposed to be free.
The mother griffin shook her head sadly. The emerald on her forehead glowed. She reared, lashing her tail. She roared a challenge to the sky and landed with a heavy thump. “ I’m ready. And, child of the moon, if you want to, you can come with us.”
“Yes,” I said.
I leaped onto her glossy feathers. Silven worriedly circled his mother. He clawed at her sides, flapping his wings. His mother sighed and lifted him onto her back. “Sorry,” he said. “I can’t fly yet.”
The griffin underneath me shifted her weight and crouched low to the ground. I threw my arms around her neck as the powerful wings began to beat. They churned up choking clouds of dust that seemed to fossilize my lungs. Then my stomach dropped and we were off.
The ground raced by below us as we climbed higher and higher. Silven shouted with joy. The griffin soared easily over the frosted fields, climbing higher and higher into the cloudless sky. The muscles in her wings pumped up and down, sending great gusts of wind behind us.
I hugged her neck a little tighter. Silven buried his claws into my shoulders.
“ Almost there!” His mother called, descending a little.
Already? Griffins are very fast flyers.
In ten minutes we had landed in the sorriest place I had ever seen. I rolled off her back and looked around with sad eyes. Pits of fire pocked the landscape, and pools of green acid bubbled in the cold air. The grass had burnt away to chalky black ground littered with rusted metal scraps. A pile of wood at least fifteen feet high stood before a crumbling cave, with danger signs pinned all over. Those signs circled a sign that read: The Coal Mines. Trespassers will be executed. Property of Orren Nox. Est. 1984.
I furiously smashed grass under my paws. The world wasn’t supposed to be this way!
The mother griffin walked up to the wood and attacked it. Mushy dust blew away in the wind. Rotted timber flew like hot grease.
A gust of burning air greeted us, rushing from the mines. I could have sworn I heard an evil laugh. “ Are we going in there?” I asked in a shaky voice.
It didn’t need answering.
Just as I expected, there was a thin layer of fresh lava on the ground. I set down the Shield, planning to use it like a sled. Silven’s mother widened her eyes. “Is that the legendary Shield of Paws? I’m truly amazed.”
I groaned. Living my whole life inside a castle with an old-fashioned maid prevented me from learning about the outside world.
“Yes, it’s the Shield of Paws. Silven, get on. We’re going down.”
End of chapter
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140,590 Literary Works • 673,544 Reviews
As always, I am here to help. V^o^V
:D:D:D:D:D
I wouldn't crit you so hard if I didn't care about your work 
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
Heh.... Thank you for your compliment. ^-^ I'm never good at the grammatical things, so usually stay away from them.
Why are we helpful?
Well, I know why I am helpful to you. I see a HUGE potential in you as an author. In a way, some of my harsher crits are a way of showing I care. You know....
So that's my reason.
I LOVE YOU GUYS! Why are you so darn helpful? Seraph, I'm so glad you're still reading, and your comments are more helpful and insightful then ever. And Ayra, thank you so much! You guys are what keeps me going!
As always, SeraphTree beat me to it. I agree with all the nit-picks she mentioned, and I can't seem to find anything else that bothered me. I can, however, provide little insights on it:
Overall:
Very nice!
The way you write is lovely; descriptive without being purple prose, filling us in without infodumping. You are [in my honest opinion] a captivating author and I can't wait to read the next part!
PM me when part 2 comes out,
Ayra
V^o^V
:D:D:D
then she's like 
One or the other please. Also, this description with the dialogue doesn't work. It's like she's suddenly nice. 
Faith's response seems a little bland. Is she as angry as this griffin??? Does she demand justice? Or is she totally freaked out that this giant creature is ready to kill? Please clarify 
Um, why didn't the griffin notice the shield before?
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
Good to hear from you!!! I always thought your story was interesting.
I readjusted the Shield, moaning softly as it cut into my shoulderblades. Why didn’t I just ditch the piece of scrap metal? I didn’t know, but I felt like it was important, just like the hair-band I now wore. And like the hair-band, I had found it near the Falls. It was almost as if someone put it in my path so I would find it
This is a little too conveniant. Give us some more details of where she found the shield.
“Step by step, across the land,” I murmured to myself. “To flee, to fight, to take a stand.”
Instead of her saying this, I suggest she recalls it in her mind as a chant or something. Having her recall it perfectly seems a little odd, unless this is a racial ability.
A shrill cry split the ear. I tossed my head back to see a silver griffin circling in the empty sky. My stomach tied itself in a sailor’s knot. To a hungry griffin, I was a choice cut of meat.
I agree with Blackstorm about the griffin. What I suggest is make the griffin realize that Faith is a moonchild, and then come asking for food. Probably assuming that Faith has great power
The mother griffin shook her head sadly. The emerald on her forehead glowed. She reared, lashing her tail. She roared a challenge to the sky and landed with a heavy thump. “ I’m ready. And, child of the moon, if you want to, you can come with us.”
This description is a bit contradictory. First the mother is like
The ground raced by below us as we climbed higher and higher. Silven shouted with joy.
Make sure Silven gets onto his mom's back before this
Already? Griffins are very fast flyers.
Or perhaps a short distance
In ten minutes we had landed in the sorriest place I had ever seen. I rolled off her back and looked around with sad eyes.
Hm. How does she know her eyes are sad? I suggest you describe her feelings and have the mother griffin say something about it. Sort of like "my feelings must have been obvious because the griffin said..."
I furiously smashed grass under my paws. The world wasn’t supposed to be this way!
WHY. Make us see her passion.
The mother griffin walked up to the wood and attacked it. Mushy dust blew away in the wind. Rotted timber flew like hot grease.
WHOA!! Don't they need a plan or something? If the griffin has one, why didn't she tell Faith??
Just as I expected, there was a thin layer of fresh lava on the ground. I set down the Shield, planning to use it like a sled. Silven’s mother widened her eyes. “Is that the legendary Shield of Paws? I’m truly amazed.”
OO"
Riding the shield like a sled?????????????
...
When she get's to the deeper lava, that shield is probably going to melt.
I groaned. Living my whole life inside a castle with an old-fashioned maid prevented me from learning about the outside world.
“Yes, it’s the Shield of Paws. Silven, get on. We’re going down.”
What does living the castle got to do with anything?
Also, you keep switching the mother's characteristics. Starving, angry, nice, happy, angry, surprised.... We don't know very much about her, so it's hard to understand what's going on.
We don't really feel for Faith either. We don't know her feelings very much during this.
Overall, I thought it was good. The end was rushed, but I know that's because things are about to get exciting
So keep writing!!!!!!!
"My stomach tied itself in a sailor’s knot." Maybe "into" instead of "in" would be better.
"To a hungry griffin, I was a choice cut of meat." and "Despite their wicked beaks and talons, griffins are normally quite docile." don't seem to mix well. I mean, if they are so docile then why is she a choice cut of meat?
"...but what was he without a father?" Huh? She grew up without one, so why is he not much without one. Maybe better wording would be "...but what would he grow into without a father?" or "...but how would he survive without a father?"
Other than those things, I really liked it.